Gotta' Start Somewhere

Okay, so...um..hello world. Or rather, those few of you who might care to read. So what has motivated me to begin my blog today of all days? No, not because it's the day of Superbowl (go Pats!) and all of you who know me will know it's not exactly because it's Sunday and "Sunday is the day to give praise". (Oh, don't worry, we'll get to the fun topic of Audrey and religion).

I got a phone call from my father last night. Now whenever he phones and I see his name come up on my caller i.d., it's a little bracing. But I have to answer. He's dying. Although he'll never tell you that. He's lived in a state of denial for at least what is my entire life. I think, perhaps, considering what all he's been through and the fact that he's now seventy-seven years old, perhaps it's best if that's what soothes him into sleep at night. Sleep...mmm....envy....

So he phoned to tell me that my cousin had been shot and killed the night before (Friday night). I believe he was around my husband's age, forty-five. On his way home from work Friday, he was boxed in at a light (one car in front and one in back). They carjacked and robbed him. Why did they have to shoot and kill him too? I have vague memories of him; but I do remember his younger brother. He and I would play together when we would visit Arkansas to see my father's family. When I look back on my life, those times I spent with that part of my family are the best times I recall from childhood. I have enough bad ones; so when I lose something from that special place, it just reminds me that I can never go back to being a child. Besides, if being allowed a do-over means that you'd be doomed to live the same life you already have, then it's not so much a do-over as maybe another life sentence to some of us, isn't it? I don't have many regrets, it's just that I've already been there and bought the t-shirt. So...no thanks. Life can feel so short when times are tough. But in the time it takes for only one phone call, I gain a new perspective.

I'm also writing because I have more than one writer friend who's told me that I should start writing about my life. "You can't write better fiction than this, Audrey"...."You wouldn't have to even change anything; because nobody would believe it all anyway"....True, my life has had enough plot twists and turns to induce whiplash and has been plenty juicy. Scandalous indeed. But is what I have to say interesting enough for anyone to want to read? I guess I gotta' start somewhere. And so I will blog.